today I decided to go out for a long walk, but the continuing rain and general indecision discouraged me and so I decided to stay in after all. exciting, I know. being bored, home alone and tired of being so goddamned lazy, I found this 55 minutes long exercise DVD (mostly yoga and Pilates exercises) of my mother's, stuck it in the C-drive and got ready on the purple yoga mat in my over-sized relax-on-the-couch pants and Barn Owl tee. I was killing it, it felt so good, I could totally do it, of course I could! --- 24 minutes later I could barely get up from the floor, and after a few minutes of staring at the ceiling I scrambled my way into the nearest chair. I felt like dying and my legs were shaking. oh so embarrassing, even if it's just me who's here to witness it. right now it's been about an hour since my collapse and I still can't raise my arms properly. I'm not even kidding, it's really hard just lifting my hands above table-height and reaching the keyboard. I'm going to try and see if I can't smoke a cigarette, and if I can't I'll just cry myself to sleep. or actually, not true, I might just end up watching more documentaries on my new favorite site, documentaryheaven.com, like I did last night and a great part of today. it's almost like getting a new best friend that never sleeps and always has something to tell you or make you think about.
and now it really is time for a cigarette.
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